Parents’ Jam: How to Correctly Teach the Children to Respect You
How to teach the children to respect you is a familiar dilemma of most parents. Parental respect is usually the stumbling block of everyday parent-child relationships it is one of the most important values parents can teach their children. Children’s respect for parents derives from the parents’ self-respect; it is not an simply an abstract theory but more of being a role model in order to correctly teach your children life’s moral values.
However, you can only teach respect and love to somebody else only if you respect and love yourself! If you respect yourself, then you also automatically respect others – their rights including their idiosyncrasies. It is normal for people to reciprocate the same behavior accorded to them.
So how do you correctly teach the children to respect you?
Instill in your children the good manner of saying thank you when they receive something (anything, really) or when you do something for them. This is easier said than done but how do you set the sample? Say thank you whenever you ask your child to do something for you like get a glass of water, turn on the lights for you, switch off the TV, hand you the hair brush or get your pen from the credenza.
Give your children proper respect. Of course, you have bought your children some things they call their very own. Do not treat these possessions as mere objects but as an extension of your child’s personality. Even if these objects or toys are already out of style, worn out or broken, ask them if they don’t need it anymore and ask their permission to throw them away or give them away to charity. Do not just give them away because they are still young and won’t mind! This would be a very big mistake on your part.
If your children do not appreciate your cooking and you feel disappointed about their reaction – do not get angry or rebuke them. Instead, let them eat canned foods for 2 or 3 days; before the third day is over they will surely come begging for a hot, home cooked meal!
If the mess of your children’s bedrooms drive you up the walls, tell them to clean and straighten up their bedrooms give them but give them a choice: clean up their rooms or get grounded for 2 weeks! Stick to your guns otherwise they will not believe you the next time. You’ll be surprised at how fast kids can clean and straighten up their bedrooms in less time that it takes you.
If you are late picking them up from school or the gym, do not get into an argument. If they grumble and complain incessantly about this, then tell them they can go home on their own the next time.
Food, particularly healthy foods are a child’s and parents common battleground. If you want your child to eat healthy, have them eat what is on the table or go without lunch of dinner. However, make sure you make healthy food attractive and palatable to them so they will be tempted to eat it.
If you want your child to do something and you can see the expression of refusal on his/her face, do not get angry – gently and clearly explain the benefits of what you want done and the consequences they have to bear if they choose not to do it.
Do not do everything for your children most especially their schoolwork; of course, you have to teach them a few times at the beginning but after that you have to let them do their work on their own.
Do not engage your children in arguments, always make them realize that they have to follow although not blindly of course. You have to explain why they have to obey and ask them also for their own opinions.
If they have something to say, always make it a point to stop what you are doing and listen to them – attentively and closely; give your comments and ask for theirs. This way, you are setting the concrete sample of respect between parent and child, between a figure of authority and a subordinate but without the feelings of animosity and without capitalizing on their helplessness as a child.
Encouraging your children by being the perfect example they can emulate and you will surely succeed in how to teach the children to respect you.