A Guide to Becoming a Good Dad For Your Kids

It is no easy job to become a good parent to the children. Being a father or mother is tough and demanding. What the parents do in front of the kids is as much important as the words they mouth. The first influence in the life of a child is the parent. On it depends the future character of the child; it is shaped by what it has absorbed from the adults. Being a bad parent can cause damage to the child. Being a father is a mega responsibility but be sure – it is laced with plenty of fun if done properly. It is however important for the father to get ready for the duty that accompanies fatherhood ahead of the actual time. This way parenting mistakes that could cause harm to the kid will be avoided.

It cannot be said that any person is perfect. This is the first point that the father should understand – he cannot be a perfect Dad in all regards but what is possible is that he can make an attempt to be a good father. To err is human but we should learn from our experiences and from that of others to improve ourselves. So how can one be a satisfactory father to the children? How to become a parent the kids will be proud of? What are the characteristics one should cultivate to be a good Papa? To be sure men would be keen to know the answers to these queries so that they can toe the line.

Qualities and Characteristics of a Good Father:

There are questions galore regarding how to be a good Daddy, how to be a Papa the children would take pride in and what are the qualities and characteristics one should cultivate to become the very best parent? To know the answers read on.

The first thing is to give time to the kids. Many men think that so long as they provide for the financial expenses of the children their job as a parent is satisfactorily done. This leads to many missing the chance to spend quality time with their kids because of other interests and responsibilities that the give priority to. They do not understand that this leads to a lack of emotional bonding; he will not be able to discipline the child correctly. By spending time with the kids, the father will become familiar with their weak and strong points; they will then give the right type of help so that the children develop into mature adults.

The children have to be taught about what is correct and what is incorrect. If the father makes a mistake he should not hesitate to admit it and say he is sorry. Time does not wait for anyone; neither does tide. When the chance to be with the children slip by, it will not return. The father will not be close to the children and the child too will not be as caring towards the father as it would have been otherwise if the father had given more time.

The second thing is to take on the responsibility of the children. You have had a hand in bringing the child into the world now you must be ready to shoulder the responsibilities connected with parenthood. The child needs not only your support but your love too. The other typical needs are seeing to food and clothing, shelter, medical needs and education. If you are not prepared to accept these duties then it is better to opt out having a child. Interest has to be shown in the activities of the child. You must listen to their babble and create such an atmosphere that they will spontaneously come to you whether in trouble or not, for guidance.

You must spend holidays together, help them with their homework etc. These are activities that go down well with the little ones. It is also your duty to inculcate good manners into the children so that they grow up to be responsible respected citizens.

Thirdly you must set an example when you disciple the children. You have to be a role model for the youngsters. Try to be like a teacher to your children both in action and words. Preaching without practicing will not win for you the respect of your kids. Children have to be taught about what is right and what is wrong. If you yourself treat your own parents like trash then it should not surprise you if your children in later years treat you in similar manner. Also it should be made clear to the child that mistakes can happen. But the important thing is to learn from these and to avoid repeating these errors.

If you suffer from a bad habit then try and change it. Steel your mind and forgo bad habits like gambling, smoking and taking of drugs. All these can have a strong influence on your child and affect them negatively. Reasonable boundaries must be drawn for children but ensure that you encourage them to take on some responsibilities as soon as they can. Give them tasks and then reward them. Do not humiliate them in public because this might cause them to rebel and feel that they are not being loved. If you have to scold them for something wrong they have done, do so in private. Be firm but kind when you point out the wrong doings and the mistakes. In this way you will be setting standards that they can emulate. Do not compel them to obey your orders by hurting them or causing them injury. Be tough and firm with your children but avoid violence.

Fourthly always demonstrate your love and care – show your affection. Men generally shy away from showing their feeling but you should remember that children cannot read your mind. They think that you do not like nor love them. But by baring your heart you are also teaching them to be more open and not to bottle up their emotions. It does not require much – a cuddle, a kiss, an appreciative pat on the shoulders, few encouraging and appreciating worlds, nod of approval or even a simple warm smile will do the trick. It will give the child confidence.

Children are hungry for this show of affection. Let the kid know that you love them, will always love them no matter what happens and will always be there beside them. This will instill in them a sense of being belonged; they will feel secure. Display family images on the walls and let them feel that they too are branches of the same tree. Try to be a guru, a friend and protector to your child. It will pay dividends.

Parenting mistakes are common. Are you clinging on to those mistakes that your parents committed and taking it out on your children? Nothing could be worse than this. The best thing is to learn from the past mistakes of your own parents and that of other adults and ensure that these are not repeated by you. At any cost avoid favouritism. Some of us have been victims of favouritism in our childhood and this has left us emotionally scarred. Despite this we repeat the same wrong. The children are our world. Should we make them suffer the same way as we did? Another big mistake is comparing one child with another by the parent. Each child is a unique individual. Do not compare one child with other children or with their siblings. They should be taught how important it is to share and respect each other basically for what their own worth.

A good father will respect his parents and also his wife. If you show disrespect towards your parents, your children will behave in similar way with you. As you sow, so you reap. By using violence against the elderly or your partner you set a bad example for the child. Children are famous for miming. Someone who is a drunkard or a wife-beater should definitely not be a role model for the new generation. Treat others the way you would like others to treat you. Be respectful towards you wife and parents; do not engage even in verbal duels in front of them. You must also respect the privacy of the children as you would like them to respect your privacy.

Do not have expectations that are unreasonable. Fathers have this tendency to nurse expectations and hopes that are not realistic and unreasonable. Parents indulge in looking back at the goals they failed to reach and looking forward to seeing their child fulfill these. This is done without thinking of the capabilities of the child, the desires, inclinations and wishes of the child. Putting pressure on the budding youngster will do more harm than good. Instead the good father will try to cultivate the genetic tendencies of the child so that the tree bears fruit. Children have to be encouraged and motivated so that they reach out for possible goals.

In brief parenthood is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. It is full time job that lasts through life and does not cease with the growing up of the child. The father has a significant role in moulding the character of the child. A father should teach the child to be self-reliant and to be resourceful. The father may commit errors these should be corrected and taken as a lesson for a forward march to happy parenthood for years to come.